Called

So, being that we're in a new ward, we've been waiting for our callings since early September. We found out that our Ward has a major shortages in nursery staff, probably due to the fact that they are only allowed to call women. Anyways, Brandon and I got to sub in nursery a two weeks ago, and later that week, I got a call from the Bishop's clerk to arrange a meeting between myself and the Bishop. Also, a few weeks before that I hear the Ward Nursery Leader saying that she's going to be released soon. Awesome. So I totally go to this meeting thinking that I'm going to be called as the new Nursery Leader, and I'm called as...RS Missionary Committee Member. At first I am so relieved. Now I'm nervous. I am not a good missionary. I'm totally the person who figures they must have left the Church for good reason (not really) and who am I to bug them relentlessly? So obviously this is a calling that I need to help me be a better missionary and I'm looking forward to it, but I think it may just be a bigger challenge than nursery would have been. We'll see...

Reality

The kids and I are driving up to Washington tomorrow. I've never not wanted to go and right now I can't even explain how much I don't want to go. I think it's because every time I go back it makes it more real. The reality that she won't be there to greet us when we park in the driveway. My step-dad is going to be in Pullman for the WSU homecoming game so he won't be there when we get there. Maybe that's better. Maybe I can still just pretend that she's at the store, which is what my subconscious has kind of been doing ever since it happened.

I'm going home to do a job. Her things need to be gone through and her rooms cleared out. To make room I guess. Room for what? For who? Why does her space need to be filled up so soon? I guess if it were my house, I would probably leave her room the way it is forever. Or at least a long time. I guess I'm just not ready because I feel that when her stuff is all gone, then she'll be gone too. There won't be any place I can go and smell her, or see her things, just as she left them. I mean, why am I even going? It's not like I can fit into her clothes anyways. I don't want them. But I do. I want to take all of them so that they won't get scattered to the wind. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe if it were up to me I wouldn't have let them harvest her organs because I wanted to keep her whole. We just watched Snow White the other day and I think if I could have I would have stolen her away and put her in a glass coffin because she was that beautiful to me.

It makes me so mad. That she's gone, that "she wouldn't have wanted" to have a headstone for me to cry over. Well I want a headstone. Since all of her things are being packed or given away, I want a place to go to think of her, to cry over her, and to show my kids. I don't care what "she wouldn't have wanted". She never told me these things. That's me being selfish again. I feel like I'm losing her all over again when I think about it. So I don't. But this trip home is forcing me to think about it. To dream about it when I don't want to. I don't want to go home. I'm not ready to end this chapter in my life. The chapter on my mother. But everyone else seems to be ready, and so tomorrow morning I'll pack the kids up in the van and head home.

It's been awhile....

This summer has been crazy for us. Shortly after my last post, the kids and went to Washington to visit my family and to attend my cousin's wedding on June 27. The visit was great at first, the kids and my mom and I went up to our family's cabin on Lake Coeur d'Alene and spent an entire week there. The weather wasn't the best, we only got one beach day, but it was so nice and peaceful just to have some quiet time without having to do all the normal daily stuff. The kids were absolutely filthy the entire time, and since there's no bathtub at the cabin, just a shower, they got to take baths in the sink. They had a blast and got to have so much needed Mimi time. From the day my kids were born, my mother's heart has been broken because we didn't live close, so getting to spend an entire week uninterrupted with her only grandbabies was wonderful for her. We came back on Saturday to spend some time with my dad, since it was Father's Day weekend. Then we went back to my mom's on Sunday night. The week started off pretty normal, then suddenly, very early Wednesday morning, my mother passed away. The doctors still haven't told us what actually happened, her death report just says that she died of natural causes. We found out that she did have atherosclorosis, which is hardening of the arteries. There was no way to know, because she didn't have any symptoms, but apparently heart disease runs in my family, so that's great. We ended up staying in Washington for almost a month, Brandon flew in to be with us. Then we came back to Utah to pack up our house.

We decided to movefrom Lehi to Provo to be closer to campus, and because rent was too expensive. We figured it would be easier for one of us to take the kids away for awhile and the other would stay in Utah and pack up the house, so since I really, really needed a break, Brandon took the kids to Arizona for 10 days and I got to stay home alone and pack.

Since heart disease runs, in my family, I decided to go get my cholesterol checked and get some other tests done. Turns out my cholesterol is off the charts, so I also used the time that Brandon and the kids were gone to go on a major diet. I lost 15 lbs!

So now we're renting a 3 bedroom apartment, and as weird as it sounds, I like it better than our house in Lehi. It's a much better layout, the kids are at the other end of the apartment from our bedroom and the living room, so we can watch movies at night without worrying about waking them up. And there's a random door that we can close if their rooms are messy so we don't have to see the mess! I've been trying much harder since we've moved here to be a better mom and housewife. I've been trying to keep on top of picking up after the kids, and even trying to make healthier meals. We try to go on daily walks with our new neighbor. Our ward has a walking group, but we can't do it every day because the don't leave until 9 and they take anywhere from 2-3 hours. But we try to do it a couple of days a week.

Brandon and I are also trying to get up early and actually make and eat breakfast together, I don't love it, but I'm trying to get my workout done in the morning so that I can be done with it.

So that was our summer, and I'm going to try to post regularly on this thing, but you never know if it's actually going to happen.

Hide and Seek

We played Hide and Seek with Henry for the first time this last Monday for FHE. We started off with just one of us hiding and the other helping Henry find them. He wasn't really getting it. When Brandon would hide I would day "where's Daddy?" and Henry would reply "I don't know. He went to school" and when I would hide he just had no idea. (because Mommy is never gone) Anyways, so it's finally his turn to hide, and as soon as I come out and say "where's Henry" he jumps out and says "I'm right here!" We'll have work on this game....

Are you kidding me?

So, not 10 minutes ago my 9 1/2 month old up and just decides to crawl. Not saying I'm not proud and all, but where the heck did this come from? She hasn't so much a tried to crawl up to now, and today she sees a toy she wants across the room, and just goes and gets it like she's been doing this for weeks. Finally! (I think she's been practing in her crib at night)

Huh?

Henry's new thing is to say HUH? after everything. Like, I want macaroni for lunch huh? I don't really know where he got it. Maybe from us saying things like "why did you do that? Huh?" Anyways, it's pretty cute.

Crazy Kid

So since my hair is ridiculously hard to do and extremely time consuming, I only wash my hair every couple of days and I use a shower cap. Henry has seen this since most days just to keep him contained I have him shower with me. I guess now he needs one too.


Oh, he also has our squeegee in his hand because he likes to practice his "moves" in the shower with it. His favorite movie is Mary Poppins and he loves to act out his own version of "steppy time" (the part where all the chimney sweeps are on the roof dancing), so he puts the squeegee over his shoulder and marches around the shower.

No more Naps!

Brandon and I have decided that Henry is done taking naps. I am sad to see this phase go, because I so enjoy my time in the afternoon but I would rather not have the time in the afternoon than fight with Henry every night until 1030 pm to get him to stay in bed.

Yesterday was our first attempt at the no-nap thing and here is the result:

Here he is at 630 pm and he slept until 845 this morning. I guess it worked...

Almost April?!?

This is so sad, we just left the 90 degree weather in Phoenix to return to this? AND it's supposed to be like this all week!

Twilight

So I've finally jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. I saw the movie, and immediately after we got home I made Brandon go buy me the books. I read the first one in two days and am halfway through the second. I can't wait to see how the story ends!

Trip to Phoenix

So apparently I'm not so good at keeping this thing up to date. The kids and I just got back from a 2 1/2 week trip to Phoenix. We went down to give Brandon a break, he's had tons of papers and tests lately so we gave him some time to take care of things. We only intended to go for a week, but we ended up staying longer because the kids and I got sick and I didn't want to drive home with sick kids. When we got there, we found out that Jason, my brother-in-law, who was on his way back from Texas at the time, was running a fever. I debated on whether or not to leave Brandon's parent's house and go stay with his older brother, but I ended up staying. Bad decision. We did end up leaving after my pregnant sister in law got the flu though.


So things were better until Henry tripped and busted his head open on their coffee table and had to get 5 stitches! Luckily, Aaron and Alisha's neighbor is a doctor and came over right away, he drove us to the Urgent Care where he works and stitched Henry up. We were home within an hour. We are so greatful that he was able to help.
Henry at the Urgent care


Then both kids developed ear infection, and I caught a cold. Turns out my brother-in-law who was originally running a fever had bronchitis. Great. SO we waited until we were (for the most part) feeling better, and headed home. What an adventure!Jake, Kyra, Cade, Henry, and Haylie


Henry and Cade at the Phoenix Zoo


Haylie swinging, her new favorite thing!

There was a sandstorm on the way back to Utah. It was crazy!

Success!

Haylie is finally eating baby food! I tried for two months to get her to eat rice cereal and that was a no-go, and I've been trying to get her to eat baby food, but she hates everything. (Well, we've been trying all of the vegetables since that's what they say you're supposed to start with so they get used to them or else the won't like them blah, blah, blah) She also won't take formula so here I am thinking that she's going to be on strictly breastmilk until she has teeth and can chew food, when she suddenly decided that she likes Sweet Potatoes. Hooray!

The kids and I just got back from Washington for a week. My Dad's friends were throwing him a suprise 60th birthday party so I decided that we needed to be there. We had a great time and got to spend some quality time with all the grandparents, which we hardly ever get to do. The birthday party was fun, my dad had a blast, which is the most important. We left on Monday because Brandon's youngest brother and sister were coming to visit. We were going to split the trip into two days like we normally do, but since the kids were being good I just decided to go for it and drove the whole way in one shot, getting us to Utah around 1230 p.m. Not too bad. Now we've just been spending the last week hanging out with Jason and Samantha and relaxing.


Henry, Samantha and I went and played in the snow yesterday, it was a perfect day for it, the sun was shining and it wasn't very cold. I think the only reason Henry's face is all red is because he kept sticking his face in the snow and eating it.

New Years

My dad left on Monday, Brandon took him to the airport then went to the doctor for a check-up. They ended up keeping him on his meds that make him really nauseous until after the new year but we decided to go to AZ anyways. So, after he got back from the doctor on Monday, we loaded up the van and drove down to Phoenix, staying overnight in Kanab on the way.

The drive was really beautiful, and we got to see snow on the red rocks, which we had never seen before.
Our good little traveler.

We had a really great time, all the kids were together for the first time, and they had a blast. Henry didn't know what to do with himself with all the kids around. It was really cute after he learned their names cause then he would chase them shouting "Jackson! Jake! Kyra! Where are you going?" He also got to play with Cade's police car which he practically lives in every time we visit. I got a nice break too, everyone took turns holding Haylie, so I was able to relax a bit. Brandon was still sick, but it was better being sick there and having the kids occupied than being sick in Utah and having to entertain them.

All of the male grandchildren so far... by the way, mine is the only one crying.


On our drive home we stayed overnight in Vegas. We stayed in the coolest hotel for only $40! We've decided that we're going to go back sometime when we can actually stop and stay a few days and I am so going to a lobster and steak buffet.

Christmas

This Christmas was interesting to say the least. Since Brandon was in the hospital and then we were all sick, we decided to postpone Christmas until Saturday which worked out pretty well. We were able to finish up our Christmas shopping on Dec. 26th, therefore taking advantage of the sales and my dad got to be here to open up presents. We didn't get to go visiting and taking part in all of the holiday parties because we didn't want to spread our grossness, but it was nice to stay home and relax, since nowadays going places like that usually just consists of chasing Henry around anyways.

Christmas Eve with Grandpa.

Henry going through his stocking on Christmas morning.

Haylie in her new bouncer.

Henry loved his "motorcycle". Thanks Grandma Carol!